A Christmas Story

Theatrical Release: November 1983. The same month the Soviets invaded Afghanistan. Coincidence?! Most likely, yes...

Genre: Family Comedy

Sub-Genre: Christmas season viewing staple

Starring...

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie - All he wants for Christmas is a firearm. God bless America...

Darren McGavin as The Old Man (Ralphie's Dad) - Darren McGavin went to fix that big furnace in the sky in 2006. 

Melinda Dillon as Ralphie's Mom - She just wants Randy to eat his meatloaf. Smeatloaf. Double beatloaf. 

Ian Petrella as Randy - The little piggy who can't put his arms down.

Overview: Ralphie's life is incomplete without something to shoot his eye out with. Knowing full well that a football would merely stun his vision temporarily, he asks for an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle (with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time). Along the way, we're witness to Ralphie's obsession with Li'l Orphan Annie, his inability to change a tire without swearing like a sailor (a trait he's obviously inherited from his father who can't fix a furnace without "weaving a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan"), and his kid brother's fool-proof bully defense: Laying there like a slug.

Expectations: High.

As anyone my age can attest to, this is the movie you watched every year as a kid, nearly every day from Thanksgiving until Christmas day itself. You could count on this to be on some channel or another, on any given day, 24 hours a day. Just like Tiger Woods news coverage is today, this movie was always on somewhere. Somewhere in the mid-90's, American billionaire (and part-time manic-depressive) Ted Turner bought up the broadcast rights to Ralphie's movie and decided he was going to invent his own Christmas classic. Sure, A Christmas Story is a great movie to begin with but it wasn't really iconic until Turner decided to refrain from constant airings of the film, then unleashing it on the public in twelve consecutive showings on Christmas Eve's, resulting in 24 hours of ooey-gooey Christmas joy. Now you have to wait all year in anticipation of Christmas Eve when this movie owns television during the marathon on TBS. Starting at 8pm (7pm, Central!) on December 24th,  you can flip on the channel that you normally gloss over to avoid Atlanta Braves baseball games and watch A Christmas Story any damn time you feel like it. Myself, I like to have it on in the background while we're opening presents, occasionally shouting things out like...

"It's a major award. I won it!"

"It was... It twas... Soap... Poisoning!"

"Wow, a fire truck, that's mine!"

"I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!" (followed inevitably by...)

"You'll shoot your eye out, kid." 

Good times. 


Since I was practically raised by television, it occurred to me from the literally hundreds of viewings of this movie in my life, that it would be impossible not to glean a few nuggets of wisdom from the subtle (and the not-so-subtle) messages in this film. It's safe to say that nearly everything I know about Christmas, I learned from A Christmas Story. Such as...

Furnaces never need replacing. Only perpetual fixing.

You will shoot your eye out. In fact, most overused advice from adults is likely to be true: If you keep making that face it will stay that way; Those boys at school keep making fun of you because they are jealous (of what, exactly?); If you keep playing with it, you will go blind.

If you're dumb enough to stick your tongue to a flagpole when it's 10 degrees outside, expect  emergency crews (fire truck, police, National Guard, ninjas) on-scene in less than 3 minutes.

You can effectively defend your home against black-and-white striped shirt-wearing burglars with a BB gun.

All TV/radio-based giveaways are just sneaky ways to advertise Ovaltine. And that stuff sucks!

Lamps are major awards.

Turning off the leg lamp in the front window saves electricity, even if every other light light in the house is on.

Bar soap will take the "potty" out of your "potty mouth."

If you're going to deliberately destroy your spouse's most prized possession, make sure you use all the glue beforehand. On purpose!

Mom will make it better.

Santa will be happy to provide you a boot in the face if you interrupt the flow on children by wedging yourself on his slide.

Calling out "That's mine!" automatically makes a gift yours.

Chinese restaurants are open on Christmas Day. 

I'm not gonna waste your time here with any long-winded opinions about this Christmas classic. You've all seen it (except for one person I know). You all love it. Hell, most of us know this movie backwards and forwards. Have you ever been in a group of people trading Christmas Story quotes with one another and someone botches one? Bad? 

"Fra-jee-lay! That means it's French." 

That poor girl never saw the ass-whooping coming. Clearly, she was a Russian spy sent to infiltrate our small group of middle-class nobodies in order to report back to Vladimir Putin how best to secretly take over the U.S. and A. and finally win the Cold War (which they're still fighting). Otherwise, how do you not know how that line goes?! 

Moving on, I thought I'd include an always popular Where Are They Now? segment to prove, once again, that not all child actors grow up to be felons or addicted to cocaine or felonious cokeheads. 


Ralphie - Peter Billingsley has worked in Hollywood nearly all of his life, believe it or not. With no real acting success to speak of after A Christmas Story (which would be like trying to find another decent car to buy after owning a Porsche), he's quietly been kicking ass behind the scenes as a writer and producer of movies you've actually heard, like Four Christmases (seriously), and Iron Man.


Randy - Ian Petrella found himself in very few roles after the film. He quit acting early in his teens, moved out west, and now works as an animator/puppeteer. You can regularly see him at the Christmas Story House in Cleveland, when they hold their annual convention. If you haven't gone to the website yet, you should. It's fantastic.


Mom - Melinda Dillon was twice nominated for Academy Awards before appearing in A Christmas Story. Afterwards, she continued to act and manages to keep her personal life very private. Even from the prying eyes of the internet. She played the mom in Harry And The Hendersons, a therapist in Magnolia, and someone not sleeping with Barbara Streisand in The Prince Of Tides (which also came out at Christmas). Since I can't uncover more about her, I'll make this up: She went on to astronaut school and currently DJ's at underground gay clubs in SoHo.


The Old Man (Dad) - Darren McGavin was a legitimate actor for many years. He enjoyed a long career on TV, movies, and on the stage. After A Christmas Story, he continued to work, winning just one Emmy in his career for a brief role on Murphy Brown. Gen X-er's most likely remember him starring most recently alongside Adam Sandler as Billy Madison's father. He did, unfortunately pass away in 2006. He will continue to live on with each Christmas. 


Flick  - Undoubtedly, Scott Schwartz has the most interesting post-Christmas Story bio. During the 80's, he bounced from TV show to TV show, even starring alongside Matt LeBlanc once for an episode of a forgotten show called "TV 101." (I've never heard of it either) In the 90's, however, Schwartz starred in more than 15 adult movies with the likes of Jenna Jameson, Christy Canyon, and Asia Carrerra. He left the biz after the 90's, claiming he "didn't like the job." He also regularly attends the Christmas Story house conventions and seems like the nicest guy you'd ever meet who used to nail hot chicks for money.


Scut Farkus - Zack Ward, like every other child actor, has tried to stay in the spotlight since his flashbang appearance in this movie. He's had bit parts on TV shows here and there, and most noteably had a recurring role from 2000-2002 on Fox in a surprisingly funny (in a dysfunctional sort of way) show called Titus. Why all child actors grow up to be struggling young adult actors, I'll never understand. Who wants to do the same job they had when they were 12 or 14? If I'd spent the last 15 years trying to get my dishwashing job back at Linoma Beach Restaurant, that'd be pretty pathetic. Although, it was pretty cool... no one noticed when we stole beer. 


So there you have it, folks. A dissection of one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time. Consider this my Christmas present to you. I know I covered this movie a little bit in last year's Top 5 Christmas Movies posting, but I felt this movie deserved a little more. Only in America would one of the most beloved stories of all time involve a little boy's burning desire to get a gun for Christmas. Happy Festivus, everyone!

Overall: 10 out of 10, of course. Without a doubt, the very best non-Chevy Chase Christmas movie of all time. 


Trivia: Jean Shepherd, author of the book this film is based upon (and the narrator of the movie) has a small part in the Santa mall scene. He's the bearded man in the killer hat who tells Ralphie that the line starts here and ends back there. 

Best Scene: Everyone has their favorite part but for me, it'll always be this one...

Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra, ra-ra!

What my wife said: She's been using quotes from this movie as her Facebook status for weeks now. This review was also her idea. I told her I was considering a mock review where I playfully pointed out the plot holes, unrealistic fulfillment of childhood demands, and subtle racism of the movie (Black Bart?). This did not go over well. She locked up the brakes (did I mention we were driving on Highway 6 to see her folks?) and without mincing words let me know what she thought of that idea through pursed lips, flailing hand gestures, and more than a little profanity... So. My wife loves this movie. Nearly enough to kill me if I chose to desecrate it.

Who would enjoy this movie: Everyone. Seriously, even the Taliban likes this movie. This is how ingrained in the American psyche this movie is... This is a Christmas card my friends, the Sherman's sent out this year...

(click on the image for a larger view)

They win at Christmas. Forever...

Watch it if you like: Christmas. Sunshine. Puppies. You don't hate puppies, do you?!

Next in the Q: It's an all-out battle for the title of Worst Chick Flick! 

or...

Fargo

For the uninitiated...

Theatrical Release: March 1996 (or in Minnesota terms, "mid-winter")

Genre: Crime Thriller

Sub-Genre: Classic Coen Brothers Dark Comedy

Starring:

- Frances McDormand as Marge Gunderson (who won a Best Actress Oscar for playing the Brainerd chief of police)

- William H. Macy as Jerry Lundegaard (Oscar nominated for knocking a hundred bucks off of that Tru-Coat... They put that on at the factory, ya know?)

- Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare as Carl and his associate Gaear (respectively). The only connection to the city of Fargo in the whole film is when Jerry Lundegaard travels there to meet with Carl and Gaear

Overview: Well, from what I can get from the trailer there, that Jerry Lundegaard fella's got a problem with the defrost on his Oldsmobile. Ya know, my cousin's got the same problem with his Grand Am. Yup, turns out a mouse ran in to his air vent somehow, oh who knows, there's a million places they could crawl in, sure, well one crawls up in his defrost there and up and dies. Maybe Jerry could take it to down to Tanner Motors there by where the Freedom used to be and get them to take a look at it. Well, yeah, he could take it to ole Dondelingers up the road a bit but I know a guy at Tanners there and I just trust them anyways... So Jerry's giving the burnt umber Sierra to Steve Buscemi as partial payment for kidnapping his wife which I don't get but whatever, he's from The Cities and who knows why those people do anything down there, I s'pose... Anyways, the Brainerd cop without Asperger's, the pregnant one, sure, she gets all mixed up in this somehow thanks to that "execution type deal" up in Brainerd and brings some decent-lookin' nightcrawlers to the bald guy. I gotta say now, those aren't bad-lookin' nightcrawlers but if you're gonna go ice fishing, especially out there on Hole-In-The-Day Lake for the Jaycees thing, you're not gonna get a heckuva lot with those dinky crawlers. They're just gonna freeze up on ya and quit movin'. I'm tellin' ya, ya gotta go with some big fat leeches, trust me. Unless you're walleye fishing down on the Whitefish Chain there in Crosslake, then you just

get yourself some lipstick jigs and kinda bounce 'em off the bottom. Anyways, it looks like it gets pretty darn complicated after that. Marge Gunderson, the Brainerd chief of police, has some questions for Jerry, and he cooperates, just like he says. Also, Steve Buscemi isn't circumcised... I don't see how that's any of, oh jeez, ya know, that's totally inappro... Just... Jeez.

This may come as a surprise - nay, a shock - to my fans but here goes... I am from Brainerd. Allow ample time for gasps and dispensing of smelling salts. I consider myself forever a resident of Omaha but my past is inescapable. My family still lives in Brainerd and I still go visit them; I graduated high school there; I know what a pain in the ass "Citiots" are (again, for the uninitiated, those are idiots from The Twin Cities, or simply "The Cities"); I can recommend a good "winter car"; I've been ice fishing; I've worn a blaze orange winter hat; I've mindlessly agreed with people by uttering, "Oh yah?"; I know the trick, the only trick, to ending a conversation in Minnesota (you just have to interject, "Well, I s'pose..." at any point); To clarify, when it comes to the Great Northwoods of Brainerd, I don't fake the funk. I lived the funk. You betcha...

So you can understand why I take my perspective on this particular film a little more serious than your average moviegoer. Let me just get this out of the way first: I friggin' love this movie. I was living in Brainerd when the film came out and the locals were up in arms. Well, as up in arms as you could expect 13,000 lutefisk-eating Lutheran barn dancers to be. Minnesota Nice quickly turned into... Well, it was only Minnesota Irritated but it quickly went right back to nice. Not even the two Academy Awards (Best Actress, Frances McDormand; Best Screenplay Written Directly For The Screen) softened the movie's reception in town. Who the hell did these Coen brothers think they were, anyway, with their fancy Hollywood movies and whatnot? Never mind that the Coen's are from Minneapolis (Oh, there ya go, see, they're from The Cities, that figures...) and they were using the bleak, frozen Minnesota landscape in much the same way they've done with a lot of their other films: Raising Arizona; . Brainerdonians (sure, let's go with that title), according to themselves, were portrayed as naive and simple, people who exist in nearly another country, with it's own set of values, and it's own dialect. Like Canadians who've wandered too far south.

Well I'm here to set the record straight. Let's do a little Minnesota: Fact or Fiction, whaddya say?

Fact: Most people in Minnesota have that accent...

Everything you see in this movie is about as accurate as you can get. The accents, in particular, while occasionally a little overdone, are spot-on. This can be attributed to the Coen brothers outstanding screenplay. which included every little "Yah..." and "Real good now, you bet." And I know Sarah Palin's got a bit of the Minnesota twang but I guarantee you she plays up that Jeez-Golly-I'm-Just-A-Girl-From-Up-North routine. The accent is prevalent all across the northern US, from the Dakotas to the Michigan UP, as well as all of Canada. In Brainerd, it can even be so thick you hard time understanding someone, especially if they're several generations deep in Brainerd. "Boat" becomes "bo-uht", "road" becomes "ro-uhd", "outhouse" is easily trimmed down into "oathoase", and no one in Minnesota has a "roof" over their head. That's a "ruff."

The lack of monosyllabic words aside, the accent is quite endearing and you'd be hard-pressed to come back from Duluth or Bemidji or Longville (Turtle Racing Capital of the World!) without a few new colloquialisms.

Fiction: This movie is a true story...

THIS IS A TRUE STORY. The events depicted in this film took place in Minnesota in 1987. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.

So reads the opening slide of the film, setting the stage for a story so bizarre, you wouldn't believe it if it weren't true. And it has to be true, otherwise the movie studios legal department wouldn't allow this sort of thing to open the movie. Right? The Coen brothers, the genius pair behind Raising Arizona, No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood (two out of three ain't bad, I s'pose), know how to tell a story. The opening slide, by their own admission, was just a ploy to pull you into the story right away. It's bullshit. These events never happened. No harm, no foul, right? But here's something tragic that did happen...

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200112/s437052.htm

No follow-up stories on the amount her family was able to sue for...

Fact: "Minnesota nice" exists...

That nearly absurd level of politeness people from Minnesota maintain, even in the face of tragedy, horror, certain death, or multiple homicides. Fargo does a perfect job of capturing this enigma of the American Midwest. It's the juxtaposition of Minnesota Nice and the brutal face-to-face killings that happen left and right (final body count: 6) that give the movie its overall creepiness. Things like this shouldn't happen in a place like Brainerd but if it did, well heck, we'll just handle it like we would anything else since we're just a buncha Joe Six-Packs around here. See how weird that is?

Fiction: Minnesota is really that flat, desolate, and cold...

Complete lie! Brainerd, where most of this film supposedly takes place, is right on the Mississippi River so there are lots of foothills with trees and wildlife to hit with your SUV (ya Citiot). In fact, the Brainerd area is to Minneapolis what Long Island is to New York. Everyone rushes up there on Friday afternoons, screws around the lakes for 48 hours, getting drunk and killing geese, and clogging up the one road into/out of town. Here's a terrific aerial view... And here's one from the ground... (Photos courtesy of the Brainerd Lakes Chamber) And Minneapolis/St. Paul is one of the largest cities in the country, with a diverse population (everything from Norweigans to Swedes!), a theater district second only to NYC, a kickass local music scene, an amazing skyline, and - oh yeah - the motherfucking Mall of America. Does your town have a mall so big you could land a space shuttle in the amusement park? That's right! The Mall Of America has an amusement park INSIDE! I win!!

So, flat? No way.

Desolate? Hardly.

Cold? Holy shit, does it get cold there...

Here's an actual picture I took two winters ago on Groundhog Day at my sister's house....

You're reading those two frozen wolves correctly: -25 F.

If you can't wrap your mind around how cold that is, imagine it's 25 degrees outside. Pretty cold, right? Now imagine it got 50 degrees colder. And this is before wind chill. It's literally too cold to snow. The snot in your nose solidifies in seconds upon stepping outside. You have to plug your car into an outlet overnight or it positively won't start the next morning. Eskimos won't even live here... Stop laughing, this is all true.

Fargo wasn't filmed in Brainerd. Or Fargo. Or Minnesota. The iconic scenes of snow-driven plains and yes, even the statue of Paul Bunyan (created solely for the movie), were all filmed in that vast wasteland of a state west of Minnesota... It's um, shit... No one goes there, how the hell should I know - NORTH DAKOTA! - That's right... Fucking. North. Dakota. In the northeasternmost county of the state in a truck stop of a town called Bathgate.

Overall: 10 out of 10. A movie unlike any other. Nearly impossible to categorize (Comedy? Thriller? Action? Crime? Documentary?), it seems to have something for everyone. This movie sits comfortably in the middle of my Top Ten Movie list.

PS: If this is a movie you own and have seen a dozen times, I'd highly recommend watching it again after going to the Special Features and enabling the Trivia Track option. It plays the movie with pop-up info boxes. Like a Pop-Up Video!

Movie Trivia: During a scene in the cabin on Moose Lake, where Gaear is watching the Barely-Comes-In Show on the requisite Vietnam-era TV (standard with any Northwoods cabin purchase), who should happen to be the actor in the soap opera? Damn right... That's Bruce Campbell.

Best Scene: The woodchipper scene...

Did you see who that was on the TV in the very beginning?!

What my wife said:

Me: I know it was a little offbeat and kinda violent but I wanted you to see what Minnesota's really like before I took you home with me for Thanksgiving. So did you like the movie?

Wife: Oh, you betcha...

Who would enjoy this movie: People from 49 states.

Watch it if you like: A Simple Plan. No Country For Old Men. Other Coen brothers movies.

Next in the Q: Something Christmas-related, I guarantee it!

High-five, Paul!

Where The Wild Things Are

Theatrical Release: October 2009

Genre: Children's Book Adaptation

Sub-Genre: Not for children...

Starring: Max Records, a 9-year-old unknown who's already a better actor than Nicolas Cage will ever be; Catherine Keener, who you might remember "deflowered" Steve Carell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin; Wild things (and not the Denise Richards/Neve Campbell kind... Sorry.); A cast of very talented voice actors...

Expectations Going In: Here's a confession: I have no recollection of ever reading this book. I'm certain it was either read to me or I glossed over the pages at some point in my life but this book holds no special place in my heart. But I'm a big fan of Spike Jonze's work so I had to see this movie despite being indifferent to the story. Not familiar with Spike Jonze? He brought you this; and this; all of this; don't forget this; and finally this. He kinda kicks ass. So my expectations, since learning that he was behind this story I was only slightly aware of, were very high.

Overview: In case you were genetically engineered, weened on a slurry of high-protein, low-fat egg white drinks, and raised far away from American civilization, you know that this movie is based on a popular children's book of the same name, written in 1963 by Maurice Sendak. It's cool if you never read it but it's not cool if you never knew about it. It's like not knowing about baseball cards or Bazooka Joe or Sarah Palin's illiteracy. Easy jab, I know, but do you really think she reads anything more topical and informative than Cosmo? Back to the flick...

You wouldn't think a movie based on one of your favorite childhood books would suck to bring kids to. Don't get me wrong, it's not an inappropriate movie to bring your little booger-eater to, he/she/it will probably just not get it. The monsters look fun and furry and they have big smiles and they play with kids so Brayden/Kaylen/Taben/Mason/whatever-your-kids-name-is should get their friends and go see it, right? Take my advice, bring the birthday party to see Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs instead.

Most people I know who've seen the movie, didn't like it, including my wife. That's fair. No one enjoys watching kids trash their sister's room because her teenage friends destroyed his snow fort or ruining their single Mom's chance at getting a little sumpin-sumpin because they want attention. On the surface, these actions immediately fall into the "shitty little kid behavior" category. When Max goes off the deep end and dons his old, dirty wolf costume and yells for his Mom to "Feed me, woman!", no one in the theater is really sympathizing with him and no one was really laughing quite as hard as I was. Max is obviously a bright kid with a healthy imagination but he seems to have no friends. His teenage sister, who up until very recently was probably very close to him, has more important adolescent issues to concern herself with like texting and jellybeans and stickers and whatever the hell you kids are into nowadays. Max's father (who's most likely a wolf, based on Max's wardrobe tendencies) isn't in the picture either, thanks to a recent appearance on Maury, and the one guy who's trying to stick it to his Mom could really give a shit about Max. But when Max runs away and escapes into his imagination, you get a much better idea of what's going on in his mind. Max is at that awful age where you're coming into puberty and everything is awkward, more so without a stable male role model around. His Mom is constantly preoccupied with either work or maintaining even a modest personal life, his relationship with his sister is nothing like what it used to be, and he has no friends to play with. It's never mentioned in the movie outright but I also got the feeling that Max may have recently moved to this new house and neighborhood after a divorce. No Mom, no Dad, no sister, no friends... Max is just a lonely little boy at the worst age to be lonely. After a final violent outburst, Max leaves his house faster than Guy Ritchie left Madonna. Max, being caught on the cusp between being a boy and turning into a young man, deals with it the only way he knows how: By retreating into his imagination. To the island where his playful and possibly dangerous monsters live.

No 10- or 12-year-old is equipped to cope with such heavy emotional issues. As an armchair psychologist, these are my observations on the monsters that live in Max's imagination and what they represent in his daily life.

Carol (James Gandolfini): The inner Max. The one behind the wheel. If Max could say exactly what was on his mind at any given time, it would be Carol speaking. Carol is regularly second-guessed and over-ridden by the other monsters on the island. He also has some simmering anger issues.

PS: James Gandolfini is a better voice-actor than most live actors...

Alexander (Paul Dano): The insecure Max. The abandoned Max. Alexander is most likely the direct result of the divorce. He's the part that feels like no one notices him and he'll always get forgotten or left behind when the fun stuff starts. Alexander is who you see in the classroom when Max is playing with a toy at his desk instead of paying attention to what's going on around him.

Judith (Catherine O'Hara): Max's relationship with his sister. Judith is always very distant with Max and threatens to eat him more than once. She ridicules him constantly but occasionally goes out of her way to have fun with him. She likes to remind Max that while she knows that the other monsters like him, she's gonna stay at arm's length from him.

Ira (Forest Whitaker): The relationship Max wants to have with his sister. Or his family... Do I look like Sigmund Freud to you? Ira and Judith love each other immensely and always have each others' back.

Douglas (Chris Cooper): Max's super-ego. The part of his psyche that strives to do the right thing, all the time. Douglas and Carol go hand-in-hand and at one point Carol declares that if he were stuck on a desert island and could only bring one thing with him, it'd be Douglas. You get a glimpse of Douglas when Max shows his Mom what he's done to his sister's room. And the scene where Carol rips Douglas's arm off, to me, represents Max shutting down his conscience temporarily in an angry outburst which he's prone to doing. Douglas is voice-acted by Chris Cooper who played a toothless guy banging Meryl Streep in a movie about writer's block called Adaptation (also a Spike Jonze flick). Which sucked. And yes, you read that correctly, Carol rips Douglas's arm off. Clean. Off. So... Fun for the whole family! (?)

The Bull (Some no-name actor with only one line anyway): The adult that Max will surely grow into some day. He just kinda hangs around on the periphery of most scenes and doesn't say anything. He's large and foreboding but keeps to himself. He has one line at the end: "Max... When you go back, will you say nice things about us?" I read another review somewhere else that said The Bull represented 'depression' by being so close to Max's other working parts at all times. I only disagree because of this last spoken line. I think Grown-Up Max is worried about forgetting these imaginary friends and how important they've been to him in working through such hard times...

KW (Lauren Ambrose...Who?): Max's relationship with his mother. KW has disappeared for a while because she made some new friends somewhere else on the island. Friends max can't understand but it seems KW is crazy about them. She only checks in occasionally and hardly talks to Carol at all anymore, even though the two of them used to be inseparable. When you see the movie, you'll be amazed at how perfect an allegory KW is for Max's relationship with his mom. I can't tell if this is the work of Maurice Sendak or Spike Jonze or David Eggers but it's absolutely brilliant.

It's OK if you didn't like this movie, I don't expect everyone to relate to Max. But that's where I think the disconnect is. If you've never been a little boy whose parents were divorced or who changed schools (again!) or who needed some attention from their Mom/Dad/sister who used to be your best friend or any of the hardships Max is going through, then you probably can't sympathize. I'm sure you had your own issues as a kid but not everyone has found themselves at Max's emotional crossroads. Just a lonely little boy trying to deal with grown-up feelings on his own. So what you see on the screen isn't your typical story with a problem that needs to be resolved and a subplot and a predictable slapstick character for comic relief. What you see is the inside of a little boy's head while he deals with some major stuff... The child in him just wants to play with monsters, build a kickass fort, and be king but the slowly evolving adult in him is trying to cope with overwhelming emotions using his "imagineered" monsters. All Max's monsters want is to live happily with one another and sleep together in a real pile, like they used to. And eventually, after some quality play time, Max knows he has to leave his Island Of Wild Things and go back to his problems, which are much too big for such a little boy. That's why I figure a lot of people didn't like the movie. They took their kids to it, expecting silly monsters to swing from trees and play with Max and maybe David Bowie would show up and sing a song about Dancing Babies while wearing a codpiece and eyeliner. Or they weren't expecting the ever-present feeling that something truly evil was impending. One reviewer, who I don't care to cite here since I'm paraphrasing anyway, said this movie was more about being a kid than it was a kid's movie. Play that phrase over and over in your brain as you watch this film.

Poor Max...

So what will YOU think of this movie? I don't know. Your kids, I'm sure, will be bored at this movie. If you wanna take your offspring to a matinee this weekend, why not go see another crappy Disney movie starring Dwayne "I'm Not The Rock Anymore, I'm A Real Actor For Realsies" Johnson? They'll be studying Where The Wild Things Are in their college Psychology classes anyway.

Overall: 10 out of 10. Film appreciation schools and psychology majors will be taking this movie apart for years.

Best Scene: The one with your mom in it.

No, I really can't pick one scene out. The whole of this movie is greater than the sum of it's parts, to borrow more psycho-babble.

What my wife said: I leaned over to her 15 minutes into the movie...

Me: You hate this movie, don't you?

Her: Yep.

Me: I figured.

Her: Well who wants to see a movie about a shitty kid?

Who would enjoy this movie: My dad. Your inner child. James Lipton.

Watch it if you like: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Rushmore. Building snow forts.

Next in the Q: Who knows? I'm using my Netflix account to watch Strangers With Candy at work on my lunch breaks (you've gotta watch the preview). I'm sure I'll watch a great movie with my sister at Thanksgiving. Maybe in honor of going back to Brainerd, I should review the only movie about the Great North Woods town worth watching: Fargo.

You betcha.